Venom’s character has had a long history of venturing into some pretty comedic territory over the years. For a carnivorous vicious parasitic symbiote, he’s been known to bring the laughs from time to time thanks to his very twisted, often sinister, sense of humour. And that’s part of what makes fans across the globe adore him. So let's take a loo at the top 10 Venom dumbest moments.
In 2009 when Norman Osborn was at a new height in power during the Dark Reign story arc, Mac Gargan was working for him, and while he was waiting to be outfitted with a new Scorpion suit, the Venom symbiote bonded with him. Gargan was a particularly nasty Venom, and had no issue with brutally tearing people apart. Hey, someone had to make up for Carnage’s absence at the time. At one point though, he gets a bit out of hand, and Osborn orders villains Bullseye and Taken to take him out. Bullseye, known for being able to make a plethora of items into lethal weapons, decides to whip a tiny dog at Gargan. Because I’m sure he somehow saw that dog as being a useful weapon. But the poor canine doesn’t end up killing Gargan’s Venom. Instead, it gets stuck in his eye. Luckily for the dog, it ends up living with Gargan lodges it out of his eye socket. Also worth noting is that a little later on, Gargan’s Venom visits the Daily Bugle and vomits up a squirrel on J Jonah Jameson’s desk, and then later kills a stripper and leaves her body in J Jonah Jameson’s bed.
Superman is often seen is pretty much invincible. He’s called the man of steel for a reason. But he’s suffered several defeats over the years, although, usually at the hands of those who match him in skill or surpass him in intellect. Bu, in the 1996 All-Access DC/Marvel cross over event, he came face to face with Venom, who proceeded to beat the out of him. Like it’s a walk in the park. And he also managed to beat up both Superman and Spider-Man while doing it. But, the worst part about that is, despite clearly being the more superior fighter in this battle, he ends up being defeated in the dumbest of ways; the hero Access, who is a character owned by both Marvel and DC, shows up with a sonic gun to stop Venom.
Now eating people ain’t nothing new for Venom. He even took a bite at Superman in our last number. So it should be no surprise that Venom doesn’t really show much prejudice towards any alien when it comes to making them his lunch. He’s a symbiote who has a taste for all beings! How swell! Venom even chowed down on a Skrull in New Avengers issue 49 in 2008 after Secret Invasion; the story arc in which Skrulls infiltrated Earth by replacing key characters with their own agents. Luke Cage, whose daughter had been kidnapped by one of those agents, joined Norman Osborn’s Dark Avengers, and became a teammate of Mac Gargan’s Venom, who used his expertise interrogation skills at the Raft in order to get some answers from a pair of Skulls. And by interrogation skills, I mean he used his knack for fine dining, devouring the Skrull down to it’s waist. Definitely got the other one talking, though.
One of Venom’s many, many abilities that he was endowed with was that the symbiote could shrink down real, real small, to the extent of being able to fit down into a telephone wire. During one storyline, when the Nypd try to lure Eddie Brock into an ambush, the police try to use Eddie’s ex-wife Anne Weying as bait. So in order to save Anne, while on the phone with Eddie, the symbiote travels to her through the phone lines, bonds with her, which lets her rampage her way out and escape. Anne had bonded with the symbiote once before, but this time was particularly memorable, because it really, really traumatized her, which would cause her to commit suicide shortly after the incident occurred.
In the 1994’s Incredible Hulk vs Venom, Venom tries out a new career as a tv persona. Sort of. The plot of this comic saw Hulk and Venom teaming up after a series of earthquakes threatens San Francisco. Now prior to this issue, Venom had decided to use his powers for good back in Amazing Spider-Man issue 375. Plus, this comic was sponsored by Unicef, and was a special mail away edition, so you bet that Venom was gonna be on his best behaviour, to an extent. Anywho, Hulk decides to use his Bruce Banner scientific know-how and Venom uses Eddie's journalism skills to defeat a villain who non-ironically operates under the name DR. Bad Vibes. Initially, the pair are fighting each other, but then decide to swing on over to the television network that Dr Bad Vibes has been trying to ransom, to send him a message on air where they act like cheesy 80s pro wrestlers and literally say, “We’re calling you out bad vibes! We know an egomaniac like you wouldn’t tear himself away from the tube!” Along with “and we’re going to beat you up!” Timed with a clip, as one does.
In What If issue 114 back in 1998, Marvel gave us a hypothetical story that was based on Secret Wars, one of their most ground breaking and memorable story arcs. It’s the story in which Peter Parker first discovers the symbiote and it bonds with him, creating his famous black and white costume. The question that this story though asks is what if Galactus and the Beyonder killed each other, leaving all of the heroes and villains stranded on the Beyonder’s planet? Well, we now see a generation of characters who are the offspring of those stranded characters. In the comic, Spider-Man, still wearing his black and white symbiote costume makes an appearance, and at one point, he’s hit with a sonic blast, which pulls the symbiote off of Peter’s body briefly. And what do we see? A skeleton. That means Venom was using his corpse as a puppet for all of those years.
Another What If title at this number! Marvel’s What If series has answered a lot of hypothetical questions we’ve had about some of our favourite characters over the years. But it’s also answered a lot of questions we didn’t really want to know more about. Like how the Venom symbiote mates! In 2007, a What If issue titled The Other was released, and shows Peter Parker choosing to make everyone believe he’s dead. The Venom symbiote finds out that Peter isn’t keeping up with his Spider-Man persona, ditches Mac Gargan, and bonds with Peter. Venom then calls himself Poison, and what’s on the top of his priority list? Getting laid by MJ, who quickly rejects him. So Poison tries a different route; he creates a symbiote offspring and uses it to control the corpse of Gwen Stacy, who he then has sex with. Gross.
In Venom: Sign of the Boss issue 1 back in 1997, Venom heads on over to church and briefly mingles with some nuns. Now, for context, the 90’s had a lot of really silly but well justified plot lines for the symbiote, including that whole ‘chocolate chills him out’ thing. Which, by the way, is because chocolate has the same chemical in it that the symbiote found in brains, hence why he feasts on brains. Lots and lots of brains. Slurps em up just like jello! Anywho, back to the nuns. So in Sign of the Boss, Venom is forced to work for the government, and one of his missions is to take out terrorists who have been holding a South American president hostage for ransom money, all inside a church. So how does Eddie Brock pull this one off? He disguises himself as a nun, which totally works, then reveals himself and obliterates the terrorists, all while in front of a group of children. It even gets better when Venom turns to the horrified children afterwards, tells them that violence is something adults do, then aggressively offers them some chocolate.
The Venom Car is a moment that is both beloved and considered quite silly. In Venom issue 36 from 2013, Venom’s host was Flash Thompson, who wasn’t all that interesting. This meant that writer Cullen Bunn had to pull out some creative tricks to try to make the character work. At one point, when some criminals are eluding Thompson and driving away to escape, Thompson catches sight of an old decrepit car and gets an idea about how he can catch up. Appearing only on one full page of the comic, the demonic Venom-mobile makes a dramatic entrance, surprising, and probably traumatizing, Thompson’s criminals.
Venom played tonsil hockey with the Thing. Actually, despite that sounding really gross, it’s not even as bad as what DID happen in the comics. Oh boy. Get ready for this one. So back in 2004’s Venom issue 11, Venom’s stories took a bit of a turn for the worse. They weren’t really all that great in terms of quality. And this is one of the many reasons why. Issue 11 of this series was the first time Eddie Brock’s Venom appeared in the volume, revealing that the symbiote in the story prior to this was a clone, and we learn how this clone came to be. During a battle with Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four interfere, and the Thing starts to overpower Venom. This is when Venom decides to be unpredictable, and sticks his tongue down the Thing’s mouth in a pretty obscene moment. And you thought Rogue was the only one who could kill someone by making out with them. The Human Torch sees this, burns off Venom’s tongue and the Thing coughs it up. A civilian bystander then picks up that piece of tongue, sells it on eBay and this whole stupid nannies are the force behind Noah’s Ark thing comes into play (yes, a real story arc that was flat out dumb, but thats for another video). This leads to the clone coming into existence and yeah, it’s just all pretty garbage.
10. DOG EYE
In 2009 when Norman Osborn was at a new height in power during the Dark Reign story arc, Mac Gargan was working for him, and while he was waiting to be outfitted with a new Scorpion suit, the Venom symbiote bonded with him. Gargan was a particularly nasty Venom, and had no issue with brutally tearing people apart. Hey, someone had to make up for Carnage’s absence at the time. At one point though, he gets a bit out of hand, and Osborn orders villains Bullseye and Taken to take him out. Bullseye, known for being able to make a plethora of items into lethal weapons, decides to whip a tiny dog at Gargan. Because I’m sure he somehow saw that dog as being a useful weapon. But the poor canine doesn’t end up killing Gargan’s Venom. Instead, it gets stuck in his eye. Luckily for the dog, it ends up living with Gargan lodges it out of his eye socket. Also worth noting is that a little later on, Gargan’s Venom visits the Daily Bugle and vomits up a squirrel on J Jonah Jameson’s desk, and then later kills a stripper and leaves her body in J Jonah Jameson’s bed.
9. BEAT UP SUPERMAN
Superman is often seen is pretty much invincible. He’s called the man of steel for a reason. But he’s suffered several defeats over the years, although, usually at the hands of those who match him in skill or surpass him in intellect. Bu, in the 1996 All-Access DC/Marvel cross over event, he came face to face with Venom, who proceeded to beat the out of him. Like it’s a walk in the park. And he also managed to beat up both Superman and Spider-Man while doing it. But, the worst part about that is, despite clearly being the more superior fighter in this battle, he ends up being defeated in the dumbest of ways; the hero Access, who is a character owned by both Marvel and DC, shows up with a sonic gun to stop Venom.
8. ATE A SKRULL
Now eating people ain’t nothing new for Venom. He even took a bite at Superman in our last number. So it should be no surprise that Venom doesn’t really show much prejudice towards any alien when it comes to making them his lunch. He’s a symbiote who has a taste for all beings! How swell! Venom even chowed down on a Skrull in New Avengers issue 49 in 2008 after Secret Invasion; the story arc in which Skrulls infiltrated Earth by replacing key characters with their own agents. Luke Cage, whose daughter had been kidnapped by one of those agents, joined Norman Osborn’s Dark Avengers, and became a teammate of Mac Gargan’s Venom, who used his expertise interrogation skills at the Raft in order to get some answers from a pair of Skulls. And by interrogation skills, I mean he used his knack for fine dining, devouring the Skrull down to it’s waist. Definitely got the other one talking, though.
7. PHONE LINE SUICIDE
One of Venom’s many, many abilities that he was endowed with was that the symbiote could shrink down real, real small, to the extent of being able to fit down into a telephone wire. During one storyline, when the Nypd try to lure Eddie Brock into an ambush, the police try to use Eddie’s ex-wife Anne Weying as bait. So in order to save Anne, while on the phone with Eddie, the symbiote travels to her through the phone lines, bonds with her, which lets her rampage her way out and escape. Anne had bonded with the symbiote once before, but this time was particularly memorable, because it really, really traumatized her, which would cause her to commit suicide shortly after the incident occurred.
6. TV APPEARANCE
In the 1994’s Incredible Hulk vs Venom, Venom tries out a new career as a tv persona. Sort of. The plot of this comic saw Hulk and Venom teaming up after a series of earthquakes threatens San Francisco. Now prior to this issue, Venom had decided to use his powers for good back in Amazing Spider-Man issue 375. Plus, this comic was sponsored by Unicef, and was a special mail away edition, so you bet that Venom was gonna be on his best behaviour, to an extent. Anywho, Hulk decides to use his Bruce Banner scientific know-how and Venom uses Eddie's journalism skills to defeat a villain who non-ironically operates under the name DR. Bad Vibes. Initially, the pair are fighting each other, but then decide to swing on over to the television network that Dr Bad Vibes has been trying to ransom, to send him a message on air where they act like cheesy 80s pro wrestlers and literally say, “We’re calling you out bad vibes! We know an egomaniac like you wouldn’t tear himself away from the tube!” Along with “and we’re going to beat you up!” Timed with a clip, as one does.
5. PETER PARKER PUPPET
In What If issue 114 back in 1998, Marvel gave us a hypothetical story that was based on Secret Wars, one of their most ground breaking and memorable story arcs. It’s the story in which Peter Parker first discovers the symbiote and it bonds with him, creating his famous black and white costume. The question that this story though asks is what if Galactus and the Beyonder killed each other, leaving all of the heroes and villains stranded on the Beyonder’s planet? Well, we now see a generation of characters who are the offspring of those stranded characters. In the comic, Spider-Man, still wearing his black and white symbiote costume makes an appearance, and at one point, he’s hit with a sonic blast, which pulls the symbiote off of Peter’s body briefly. And what do we see? A skeleton. That means Venom was using his corpse as a puppet for all of those years.
4. GETTING FREAKY
Another What If title at this number! Marvel’s What If series has answered a lot of hypothetical questions we’ve had about some of our favourite characters over the years. But it’s also answered a lot of questions we didn’t really want to know more about. Like how the Venom symbiote mates! In 2007, a What If issue titled The Other was released, and shows Peter Parker choosing to make everyone believe he’s dead. The Venom symbiote finds out that Peter isn’t keeping up with his Spider-Man persona, ditches Mac Gargan, and bonds with Peter. Venom then calls himself Poison, and what’s on the top of his priority list? Getting laid by MJ, who quickly rejects him. So Poison tries a different route; he creates a symbiote offspring and uses it to control the corpse of Gwen Stacy, who he then has sex with. Gross.
3. SCREWED WITH NUNS
In Venom: Sign of the Boss issue 1 back in 1997, Venom heads on over to church and briefly mingles with some nuns. Now, for context, the 90’s had a lot of really silly but well justified plot lines for the symbiote, including that whole ‘chocolate chills him out’ thing. Which, by the way, is because chocolate has the same chemical in it that the symbiote found in brains, hence why he feasts on brains. Lots and lots of brains. Slurps em up just like jello! Anywho, back to the nuns. So in Sign of the Boss, Venom is forced to work for the government, and one of his missions is to take out terrorists who have been holding a South American president hostage for ransom money, all inside a church. So how does Eddie Brock pull this one off? He disguises himself as a nun, which totally works, then reveals himself and obliterates the terrorists, all while in front of a group of children. It even gets better when Venom turns to the horrified children afterwards, tells them that violence is something adults do, then aggressively offers them some chocolate.
2. VENOM CAR
The Venom Car is a moment that is both beloved and considered quite silly. In Venom issue 36 from 2013, Venom’s host was Flash Thompson, who wasn’t all that interesting. This meant that writer Cullen Bunn had to pull out some creative tricks to try to make the character work. At one point, when some criminals are eluding Thompson and driving away to escape, Thompson catches sight of an old decrepit car and gets an idea about how he can catch up. Appearing only on one full page of the comic, the demonic Venom-mobile makes a dramatic entrance, surprising, and probably traumatizing, Thompson’s criminals.
1. MADE OUT WITH THE THING
Venom played tonsil hockey with the Thing. Actually, despite that sounding really gross, it’s not even as bad as what DID happen in the comics. Oh boy. Get ready for this one. So back in 2004’s Venom issue 11, Venom’s stories took a bit of a turn for the worse. They weren’t really all that great in terms of quality. And this is one of the many reasons why. Issue 11 of this series was the first time Eddie Brock’s Venom appeared in the volume, revealing that the symbiote in the story prior to this was a clone, and we learn how this clone came to be. During a battle with Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four interfere, and the Thing starts to overpower Venom. This is when Venom decides to be unpredictable, and sticks his tongue down the Thing’s mouth in a pretty obscene moment. And you thought Rogue was the only one who could kill someone by making out with them. The Human Torch sees this, burns off Venom’s tongue and the Thing coughs it up. A civilian bystander then picks up that piece of tongue, sells it on eBay and this whole stupid nannies are the force behind Noah’s Ark thing comes into play (yes, a real story arc that was flat out dumb, but thats for another video). This leads to the clone coming into existence and yeah, it’s just all pretty garbage.
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